Marco's Quest for Gold
by GojiraCipher
Summary: When distress calls, Marco must go on an epic quest to replace a sacred lost artifact, or his princess shall forever fall into the void of sorrow. One-shot.


**Marco's Quest for Gold**

Inside a glass bowl, a single goldfish swum around, minding his own business. The Star Butterfly began moving her head around the bowl, making multiple cute faces as she observe the fish. "Hello golden fishy. I'm star." Star grinned at her new friend. "You're gonna love what I have planned for us!"

Marco walked by and noticed Star admiring her pet. "Hey Star. How's Goldy?"

"Fantastic!" Star slowly turned her head to Marco in a creepy fashion. "He's the best fishy in the world and nothing will come between us!"

Marco chuckled suspiciously. "Yeah. So you made sure to feed him every day, right."

"Yep, and I change his newspaper, clean his litter box, and give him messages." Star checked her watch and gasped. "Look at the miniature clock on my wrist. I have to get ready for mine and Goldy's day." Star summersaulted into the closet and came out with a tennis racket and an ostrich. "I'm off!" The ostrich cawed and ran out the window. "To catch that ostrich that was in there for some reason." Star chased after the ostrich as she yelled like barbarian.

"Star, you're crazy." Marco smiled and shook his head. "Never a dull day with you arooooo OH NO!" Marco held his head in shock to see Star's goldfish floating on the top of the water, dead. "Not again!" Marco grabbed the fish with his hand, ran to the toilet, and flushed it down the drain. "That's the 34th one this week!"

Marco grabbed his wallet and ran downstairs and saw is father. "Marco, you have to tell Star the truth."

Marco frantically put his helmet on. "Can't! Remember how she reacted to that fly?"

* * *

"Oh look how cute you are. Everyone thinks you're annoying, but I think you're a cutie pie. Just look at the adorable coat that spider made for you. Look, there's the spider now to greet …. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

"That cry lasted three days! Three days with no sleep!"

"Now you know how we felt when you were a baby; which is why you're an only child."

"No time to worry about the past!" Marco ran out the door and hopped on his bike.

"Son, those goldfish are only 15 cents at the pet store. I'm sure Star won't get too upset."

"Three days! Three days!"

With legs like an engine, Marco peddled in place fast enough to make smoke rise from the tires and dashed off. "O.K. Just ride to the pet store, by another fish, and put it in the bowl before Star gets home. Which I hope won't be too soon."

* * *

"I got you!" Star caught the ostrich in a butterfly net. "Now to torture the information out of you aaaaaand where are we?" Star looked around to see she and the ostrich are in a white void, deprived of anything else but them.

* * *

Marco rode through the city, avoiding every obstacle in his way. "Go fish, go fish, fo gish."

Marco pedaled towards an ice cream truck and drove right through a cone, splattering right in his face, which he ignored.

"Why am I dressed as a kitty?!" Standing on the sidewalk, Marco's kid rival Jeremy Birnbaum was in an embarrassing cat costume, and Marco just drove right passed him obliviously.

"And the next person with a mole who stops in front of us, will win ten million dollars!" said a man in a suit with a camera crew and a huge check, who Marco ran over.

"So this is America." A monk ghost materialized. "I wonder how the martial art I've created, karate, have changed through the ages." Marco drove by, spooking the monk spirit. "Ahhhh! A half boy half wheel thing!"

Then finally Jackie Lynn Thomas, Marco's crush, walked by and noticed Marco coming. "Hey Marco, I won two tickets to this exclusive restaurant. I was thinking if you and I could-"

Marco simply drove passed her, causing her to spin around in a daze.

"Fish go, fish go! Must go fish before star go home!"

* * *

"Weeeeeeeeeee!" Star and the ostrich are currently riding the tea cups in Disney World.

* * *

Marco finally arrived at his destination. "Finally …. The pet store." Marco rushed in and glanced around the store. "Go fish, fish go, gish fo, fo gish."

An unamused employee walked to him and handed him a gold fish in a bag. "This is your 35th fish this week. You're gonna have to tell her."

"Have any threes? Go fish!"

Then out from one the aisles came Ludo and his gang. "I can't believe Earth has a store that sells wild animals. I can use one of these to destroy Star Butterfly and that Karate Boy." Then one of his monsters pointed out Marco. "What's he doing here?"

Marco handed the employee 15 cents. "Seriously, kid. These goldfish are practically just used for starter pets, bait, piranha and turtle food, ponds, and sometimes evil goat gods sacrifices."

"A fish made out of gold!?" said Ludo with huge eyes or excitement. "And he's getting the last one? After him!"

The monsters charged right after Marco, who of course didn't noticed. "I just fished a card I needed." Marco ran out of the store and drove off.

"He's getting away!" Ludo and his minions saw Oskar, Star's crush who lives in his car (yeah that kind of guy), playing his keyboard guitar. The monsters tackled him and made off with his car.

"My baby!"

"We he he!" Ludo grinned as the car cramped with monsters drove after Marco.

"Must go home and go fish!" shouted Marco. "Go home before Star go home!"

* * *

Star Butterfly was now on a romantic date with the ostrich.

* * *

Jackie finally stopped spinning and felt her head. "That was .. ugh." Jackie's face turned green and she ran to the nearest garbage can, away from Marco's and the car's path.

"Boy wheel monsters. What next, monsters wheel monsters?" The spirit monk then saw Marco riding by and the car full of monsters. "There's no hope for humanity!"

"O.K.!? The very next person with a mole who stops here with a car full of monsters wins ten million INCOMING!" the guy and camera crew jumped out of the way of the chase and the check was destroyed by one of Ludo's monsters breathing fire. "Forget it! We'll just give the cash to charity or something boring."

"Why am I watching this pony show?!" Jeremy, still in a kitty costume, was for some reason watching a pony cartoon and started to cry.

"Fish go card!" Marco and the monsters drove pass Jeremy.

"Did any of you just seen that pathetic kid?" asked Ludo laughing.

At the ice cream truck, the ice cream man was speaking to a small boy. "Hey champ, I've been working on a new flavor. Just hop inside and-"

When Marco passed by, the car crashed right into the ice cream truck, scaring the boy away.

"Uh, I think that's enough for today." Ludo came out of the car dazed, but shook his head when he saw the truck. "ICE CREAM! Men, take that truck, and the man!"

"What?! Ahhhhh!" the man shouted as the monsters took him and the truck to Mewni. "No, I have to stop him!"

When the ice cream man was thrown in the portal, the boy came back. "Wait, was that agent Double One 8 operating that ice cream truck?" Then boy's hair fell out, which turned out to be a wig hiding a scar, and he wipe his chin to reveal a five o'clock shadow. "Nice try! Now I shall harness the world's ice cream and take over the Universe! Mwa ha ha!"

"Take the bald fellow too!" shouted Ludo.

Marco Diaz finally arrived back home. "Ten matches out of eight. Almost home." Marco kicked the door opened and poured the goldfish into the bowl. "Aw. Game set. Shuffle the deck and …. What the heck was I saying?"

As Marco lay down on the sofa to catch his breath, a not so pleased Star walked in. "I can't believe that bird already had a girlfriend!" Star's attitude shifted to joy as she picked the fish bowl. "And how was Goldy doing today?"

Marco quickly sat up. "You know, the usual cool goldfish stuff. Swimming around and not dying."

"Good." Star pushed her face on the bowl. "Because now's our special day!"

Marco watched Star standing there for several seconds, then became horrifically shocked when Star grabbed the fish out of the bowl with her bare hand and tossed it into the air to have a hawk fly by to catch it. "That's for the new chick you lucky new father!"

Star then noticed the brain hurt Marco staring at her. "What's with you?"

"Y-Y-You mean to tell me … that fish was just for food!?"

"Food for the baby hawk. I got the idea when I saw that spider showing me the circle of life the hard way." Star devilishly grinned. "But what's with you? That little fish only costs 15 cents at the pet store."

Marco then passed out.

 **End**


End file.
